Dress well, thy part.

So let me ask a few questions. Does one go to a business meeting in a bathrobe or swim suit? What would happen if you did? You would turn a few heads, be snickered at, perhaps asked to go home and change, or maybe even get fired?

Does one get married in their grubbies? Or go to the fancy restaurant in the same clothes you use for scrubbing a toilet?

How many hours does the average lady spend in front of a mirror everyday to look the way she thinks is her?

Does not every stage costumer purposely construct the look of the character down to the smallest details to tell you what you need to know about them before they even open their mouth?

Do we not dress for the parts we play everyday?

And if so, then it is only reasonable to assume that if we dress like we are seeking male sexual attention that we would then get male sexual attentions? (ie, if you dress like a slut, you are must likely going to be treated like a slut.)

But wait- You don’t want this attention? Then just maybe you should consider dressing for the kind of attention you wish to receive.

I just finished reading an article that complained about the school asking the girls to refrain from wearing tight pants and belly showing shirts to school because they “distracts the boys.” They writer of the article claims that it teaches girls that they are to blame for how the boys treat them, and this creates the “rape culture.”

Seriously, we are now blaming men for the fact that they are hard wired to look at girls?

Yes, ideally, real men will look and never touch, and treat you like a respected equal no matter what you are wearing. But let’s face it, it is hard for the best of us to do that, (not to mention 12 year old boys) we try, but we still judge others on how they present themselves, and quiet often we treat them according to how they dress and behave.

So either you can agree with the writer and believe dress codes blame girls for being raped. Or you can accept the fact humans are humans and subject to biological follies, and use that to your advantage.

And one more word: if you drink to much and walk down dark alleys alone at night, it is not the “rape culture” that will get you. It is your own stupidity. Years ago there were a lot of concrete rules to prevent women from behaving in those ways that were most likely to compromise them.  Dark alleys and drunk girls are putting themselves in compromised situations, no matter what the decade or century is. Yes, the raper is guilty, 100%, but you most likely could have prevented it had you first thought about the possible consequences.

Make new plans, and think twice about the old?

When you make  new friends you can keep the old.

Hotel reservations are not always the same way, even though we may feel attached to them like an old friend.

This week Mike and I made plans to head the Autism Conference of MN. AUSM has and awesome conference, dealing with a lot of timely issues for us. Like starting Galen's transition into adulthood and some behavior/emotional things we are dealing with with Clayton.

We have also just spent 2 weeks at the Mayo with Clay and Ian. Clay was ran through a series of Psyc tests and Ian just had his normal button change and yearly update visit.

Our family is also moving forward on a extended (like lots of family) family trip to Disney World this fall.

And naturally , not only do our financial budgets not allow us to do it all, but our emotional and personal energy budgets not allow us to do it all.

It is kind of a bummer though, as I have given up a plan for a trip that feels a lot like and old friend. In December we decided to go to Nauvoo, ILL (a very nice church historical site) and hang around there for several days after we saw the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in the Twin Cities.  The plan seemed to work and was very affordable.

I love Nauvoo, I spend a whole semester there studying church history in college and have always wanted to take my children back there. I have yet to see that Temple, that I just knew would be rebuilt, and thought it would mesh real nice with the study of Church History and and Doctrine and Covenants this year.

But, alas, one can not do everything at once. Not only will I be about 35 weeks pregnant, but I will also have just finished school semester and a lot of traveling (for me) this spring. Then of course, we will have the baby this summer and then 6 weeks later head off to Florida.  There is just not time and energy (or money) for everything.

Like wise, during the time frame of the trip to FL, there was an opening in a midwifery class that I have been interested in. My SIL (also an aspiring midwife) is planning on going and asked me if I was too, but the new baby puts a fairly big crimp on educational plans, which is one reason why we are going to FL this year rather then next year. Next year, I plan to be taking lab classes again, because my aspiration to midwife will continue.... (I plan to become a Dr Midwife (hold a Doctorate in midwifery).... and someday I will go to the Farm and take their course, because I believe they hold lots of good information that med school does not offer, that I can then use in my work settings.

Yup, we can't do everything at once. The most important question for us is what is the most important thing to be doing now? (and then do as many of them as you can do well with your time and energy and budget constraints).

And for me, that is still Mother and Wifehood.... followed by my educational path.

I have learned that nothing brings as much happiness as my babies to me. Even when they start to grow up on you (le sigh). So I would rather have this baby now and love her up right. Life will provide time for me to do everything else it has in store for me.

A week for what?

A week at the Mayo Clinic, and I am not impressed. Clay has some issues with rage fits or seizure type things that seem strongly related to his learning problems. But the problem with doctors is that they don't believe what they don't see.

Day 1 was psyc testing. Clay was very well behaved that day. He did show some resistance to challenging tasks- which helps a little. So the psyc says there could be some underlining performance anxiety and suggested we use a different curriculum for education.

The next day with met with a psychiatrist. He said Clay seems perfectly adjusted and we are doing a great job with him. Again Clay was in a great mood that day. He suggested we use a sticker chart (like a mom of 6 never thought of that!?)

Then Clay got tired of it all and his mood changed. By the meeting with the Sleep Doctor he refused to open his mouth or let her even let her listen to his heart, so his sleep study was canceled. She also didn't seem to know how to handle him at all.

Our last meeting was with the neurologist. He didn't do a careful job reading Clay's file (neither did the sleep Dr) and was surprised Clay was showing good eye contact, because he thought Clay had a diagnosis of autism. Then I explained he was tested for autism and wasn't autistic. But that he had memory challenges and has a Jekyll and Hyde issue in his behavior. He did a little reflex check. Said it looked like depression to him, bad enough to medicate, and referred him back to psyc. But he did agree to do a bunch of blood screenings, just to rule out those things.

The blood draw tech was impressive. He managed to get Clay happy to cooperate by explaining exactly what was going to happen.

Going forward (besides changing his curriculum, which I already decided to do), I think we are going to have to catch videos of his fits so the silly doctors can see what we are talking about. Personally, I would really like Clay to get an EEG, with some stimulation of stress to see what happens in that brain when he is hulking.

This looks like a possible issue- http://www.thebarrow.org/Neurological_Services/Brain_Tumor_Center/Hypothalamic_Hamartomas/203773
In which case we would like an MRI please.

Conversation hearts for married couples

Sweet candy saying for the love of your life.... of course because we love each other so much our hearts would have to be big enough to communicate properly.

Let's put the kids 2 bed early tonight

yeah, I'm 2 tired 2

maybe in the morning

4 U I'd make something besides chicken nuggets

I'm doing dishes 2 turn U on

Do you have a mint?

A back rub would B nice

quick, lock the doors

hold that thought

Pregnancy Bucket List?

This will probably be my last pregnancy, although one doesn't know for sure until it is too late to have one, and as a result of spending 74 months of my last 15 years pregnant, I have kinda  taken it for granted. I have always gotten pregnant before I every thought "gee, we should work on getting pregnant."

But this time it's a little different. I am a little older. The pregnancy is a little tougher. I have other things I am preparing to do in my life then birth babies (like help other people birth babies). This could very well be our last and I have never taken the time to celebrate the miracle that pregnancy and birth is. I have never taken the time to honor the process or make memories or mementos of it.

I think maybe this time I will.

I would like to do some belly picture, maybe a belly cast....
maybe we will do little cutsie baby photos- I've always enjoyed Anne Gedde's work.

I would like to birth at home again. Just me and baby and family.

Be jealous deep thought!

When I dreamed that the long sought for answer to "life, the universe, and everything" was broccoli, I rolled over and went back to sleep.

When I dreamed the sunken treasure we just painstakingly pulled from the depth of the sea was broccoli, I rolled over and went back to sleep, but couldn't.

Ugh, Baby! You win again.

Hence, at 2 am, I am cooking broccoli.

The greatest riches in life are
the laughter of children
and the child like wonderment at mysteries of the universe.