Monday, June 23, 2014

The Nursing Culture

I have seen too much lately about rape culture. In the world were we live we have become obsessed with idea that breasts are sexual items and that the sight of them and make a man's hormones get the better of him. However, in my experience, the only person to go gaga at my sight of my breasts is my hungry nursing babies.

I have weaned 5 boys, and not 1 of them thinks anything of seeing breasts of a mother nursing her baby. To them it is just the way babies eat. Of course, I suspect in the right circumstances, where a girl is attempting to entice them (like on their wedding night) I trust that the right unveiling of the breasts will get the their male parts to stand at attention. However, even in those circumstances one would have to admit that the reason they stir feelings is that the ultimate role is that in nurturing the children created in that bond.

So anyways, my basic attempt here is to theorize that if people were used to thinking of breasts in terms of nurturing babies, then maybe, just maybe, they would be much less inclined to think of them as purely sexual objects. And that if we, as a culture, were used to seeing them used as natures intended purposes, then perhaps we might not think of them as objects, but as an integral part of motherhood, and nurturing.

Maybe, we need to re-throne motherhood to dethrone the sexualization of our culture.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

but I will not forget thee

It must hard being the 7th child.
Once in a while, while juggling the needs of her six older siblings she has been forgotten. Once I got her all ready to go, put her in her car seat and then went to the parent teacher conferences without her. I didn't even remember I'd forgotten her until one if the teachers asked how she was doing. (She was safe at home with daddy and slept the whole time.) but it surprised me. Since when do nursing mothers forget their baby? I mean, seriously, our boobs ache when we go too long without them. 

Tonight is forgotten her again. She was asleep downstairs and I went to go to bed, forgetting to bring her up to bed until after I saw her bed empty. 

This is an amazing, happy, awesome baby that I have waited 7 kids to get- to forget her would be to ignore all my motherly longings since I started naming my future children when I was 12. 

Ah, how thankful I am that I have someone in my life who will never forget me.  

Isaiah 48:15
Shall a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb?  Yeah, they may forget, yet I will not forget thee.
Behold, I have graven thee; on the palms of my hands....

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

I always laughed before the punch line anyways.

After reading through a lot of my old posts (full moons can do that to you), I realized that I am technical writer who is attempting to write something humorous. But the harder I try at conveying humor, the more technical the details become, in hope that others can see the connections of what could have/should have or maybe possibly will happen and find the exquisite dead pan humor in the situations as they mostly didn't unfold. Many of the situations can be summed up in either your laugh or you cry, especially in the intense concentrations of theses events that are apparent in my everyday life.

In attempt to convey the intense emotions (that are locked away to be dealt with at some future time) of these situations, I have tried to show the moments that bring exquisite joy, pain, and weirdness to my life, often written near the moments for the rawness/freshness to be truly exhibited.

But the humor, the humor and little ironies, and the large ironies of life that I so enjoy can not be adequately recorded with out much time and contemplation given to each word and phrase of each post. It is hard to share the inner working of my mind in words. Perhaps I should take up painting great works of art that can only be enjoyed once I am long dead.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Why Moms of Many don't exersize

I mean it, I really planned to jump on my treadmill today.

I knew it would have to be after work, but then I ...
ran to the store
made dinner
helped with homework
changed a diaper
nursed a baby
attempted to change a faucet
gave up and re hooked the old one up
went through the report cards
held scripture study
read stories
made school lunches
made cookies for lunches
tucked a girl in
tucked a boy in
changed a diaper
read another story, this time about trains
started the laundry
changed another diaper
nursed the baby (actually for the 4th time since dinner)
and then my phone goes off reminding me that it is time to get to bed
and I still need to shower.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Soul Sucking

It is always fun, in a soul sucking way, to  meet with our financial advisers. Part of the fun is the fact that we have spent (and continue to spend) the vast majority of our time and energies raising our children. Among our 7 beautiful additions to this world are 3 that have special needs. Yes, we deal with autism, ODD, spinal bifida, mood disorders, the terrible twos and the dreaded teenagers on a daily basis.

 They suggest we hire outside help for the children so we can go and get a career. (Even if we don't break even on costs of career income minus a tutor for our children). Le Sigh... Of course that often seems to be kin to a major sin to refuse to perpetuate a broken system that values your contributions out of your home more then the contributions within your home.  Of course, when you make your money out of the stock and bonds system, anything that grow the economy is good for you. So if I get a job, and have to hire my job out and then drive through on the way hone because I am too tired to cook. It all adds to the economy (as it is counted), but subtracts from what matters most to me, my family. It just doesn't seem logical to do so. When I consider this scenario, I hear a life sucking sound, where all my efforts go to building someone else's coffers and not the one things that truly matter.

Everything we do is for our children. I just wish it could make a difference in the longevity of the world. Sometimes, other times I kinda look towards heaven and wish the end of the world to hurry up. But maybe that should be part of my equation. What good is a career and investments in financial markets when the world ends?

With what time we may or may not have left on the planet, should I not also consider that the economy as we know it perpetuates the destruction of the world? Without the desires for increased wealth would we not have made better decisions as a country or world? Would we not have possibly considered that we can't breath soot or drink liquid coal and put tons of CO2 into the atmosphere with no consequences?

Seriously folks... you are worried about my retirement plan, instead of if there will be a world to retire on?

PS- I don't plan on retiring, I plan on working and building and learning and teaching and creating as much positive in the world as I can all the days of my life. I plan to prepare for the changes ahead, and to ride through them with my family.

Friday, September 27, 2013

I plan to live to be 100!

While contemplating my goals in life, and how that relates with weather or not to do some permanent birth control, I was really torn about it, wanting to both enjoy my time as a mother and also perusing and making really good use of a medical degree (nutritional neurology, here I come!)

So tonight, Ian was asking me about retirement. And I answered that I never plan on retiring, that I want to live to be 100 and use every precious day of it to the advantage of my fellow human beings. I realized that gave me 65 more years!

Wow- I have accomplished a lot in my 35 years, what am I going to accomplish in my next 65?

Here are my absolute plans:

1. Raise beautiful and inquisitive children that question everything and reach out and drag the answers out of the universe.
2. Learn, learn, learn, learn
3. Act, Act , Act, Act
4. Teach, Share and help others question everything and act.
5. Spend years serving the Lord, become one of those Mold people (Mormon + old) that have the energy to run around serving in Temples and and substitute teaching and serve everywhere they can. You know it's a Mold when you see a big smile under a crown of white curly hair (only mine might be white braided hair) who always know just the right thing to say to uplift those around them and whispers words of confidence when you need them most.
6.  Then be changed in a twinkling of an eye and continue my work.

Now my tenative plans:

1. Go to med school, study under nutritional and neurological professionals.
2. Work with special needs children (ie... everyone) and their families and uncover their problems, hopefully using a nutritional approach the vast majority of time.
3. Work for many, many years, gathering research and experience.
4. Share this research and experience.
5. "Retire" (at about age 90) into Mold-dom and then spend the last years of my mortality running around just to serve the Lord.

So, now I need to act as these are my goals. ... nutrition, exercise and learning and living :)

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

still pregnant

I'm still pregnant, but just want to be left alone to die in peace.
I probably wouldn't feel that way if I was actually dying, but right now, I feel miserable and really just want my own quiet space to be left alone in.

Perhaps I am still trying to make room in my life for this baby and it's not coming easily.

And of course I am ridiculously hormonal and very easy to make cry.

I feel sorry for everyone who has to be around me.